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Essay Writing の思考プロセス 第63回 


今回の Topic は、Official Guide to the TOEFL の Independent Essay 第19問です。

1. Topic           

     “When people succeed, it is because of hard work.  Luck has nothing to do with success.  Do you agree or disagree with the question above?  Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

2. Struture

a) Thesis Statement (Introduction)                

       I disagree with the statement because luck, which is beyond control of hard work, frequently plays a crucial role in our success.

b) Body の部分を構成する3つの Paragraph の Main Idea は、

第1 Paragraph ビジネスに好都合な経済的環境の有無は、個人の努力では統制できない景気に左右される

第2 Paragraph スポーツや芸術の世界で成功するには、個人の努力に加えて生来の才能が不可欠である

第3 Paragraph 農業や漁業は気候変動から大きな悪影響を受けているが、気候変動に対する即効性のある対策は存在しない


3. Sample  

     I disagree with the statement because luck, which is beyond control of hard work, frequently plays a crucial role in our success.              

     To begin with, economic situation has strong effect on whether we can succeed or not in business.  While we can enjoy healthy economic growth, there would be plenty of business opportunities.  In contrast, when economy is under great recession or depression, there would be little chance of success however hard we may work.  Therefore, although hard work is essential part of success, it also depends on economic environment to be successful in business.                                     

     In addition, without innate talent, we would not succeed in sports and art.  Some people inherently have good athletic or artistic sense.  For example, you could not accumulate 262 hits in the Major league baseball like Ichiro, no matter how hard you may practice.  And you would not compose numerous beautiful melodies like Paul McCartney if you were not a genius in music.  This does not mean they don’t work hard.  On the contrary, Ichiro is well known for his intensive hard training.                                                                                                         

     Finally, when it comes to agriculture and fishery, weather has had significant effect on harvest.  It has been reported that due to global warming as a result of climate change, prolonged draught in some parts of the world, such as California, has had very negative impact on agricultural produce.  Because climate change has been caused by the cumulative effects of human activities, there are not any immediate measures to improve weather conditions.                          

     It is true that some people may succeed despite harsh economic situation or weather conditions, or without innate talent.  However, because of the three reasons I mentioned above, I disagree with the statement that luck has nothing to do with success.


To be continued.