今回の Topic は、Official Guide to the TOEFL の Independent Essay 第３２問です。

１. Topic           

        In general, people are living longer now.  Discuss the causes of this phenomenon.  Use specific examples and details to develop your essay. 

２. Struture

a) Thesis Statement (Introduction)                

         In my opinion, an improvement in living conditions, the advance in medical science, and the advent of welfare state have gradually mitigated the risk of untimely deaths.   

b) Body の部分を構成する３つの Paragraph の Main Idea は、

第１ Paragraph　現代における生活水準の向上とグローバル化は、平和な世界における快適な生活を実現している

第２ Paragraph　医療技術の発展は、新生児の生存率を大きく向上させると伴に、平均寿命を大きく伸ばすことに貢献している

第３ Paragraph　福祉国家の成立は、国民医療保険制度を充実させ、全ての国民に医療へのアクセスを保証している

 

 ３. Sample

      In my opinion, an improvement in living conditions, the advance in medical science, and the advent of welfare state have gradually mitigated the risk of untimely deaths.                                 

     To begin with, people can now enjoy comfortable life thanks to an improvement in standards of life.  In general, most people in the world have access to basic necessities, such as housing, nutritious food, clean water, and sanitation to lead a decent life.  Moreover, globalization has more or less helped us maintain international peace and security.  As a result, most people are free from hanger, famine, epidemic, and wars, which have been the primary causes of untimely and unnecessary deaths.                                                           

     In addition, advances in science and technology, especially in medical field, have contributed greatly to the decrease in maternal and child mortality, and then the longer life expectancy.  Many serious diseases, such as plague, cholera, and tuberculosis have been almost eradicated.  Advanced medical technologies have made it possible to detect serious diseases in their early stages.  Even if we fall ill, we can receive treatment with state-of the-art medical equipment.  For example, robots equipped with AI are able to undertake complex surgeries.                                                                                                                                               

     Finally, the advent of welfare state, especially in developed countries, has improved access to medical cares.  In Japan, national health insurance system, which is compulsory, has played crucial role in extending access to health cares.  Also, many local governments administer regular medical checkups and vaccinations for flu.  As a result, diseases could be prevented or detected before they become serious.  All in all, today’s welfare state and national health insurance system has made health care affordable to every people in the country.                                                     

     It is true that there are still hundreds of millions of people in the world who are facing grave threat to life due to underdevelopment or prolonged conflicts.  However, people are living longer now because of the three reasons I mentioned above.     

 

To be continued.